Did Mary Remain a Virgin?

The bible says Jesus had brothers and sisters

from Pixabay - Interior of a Catholic Church, showing an ethereal, light-skinned, English-looking Mary with a halo, up in the clouds

This is part of a series on some of the practices of the Catholic church. It’s meant to be a respectful outreach to my Catholic friends. A true friend will not withhold the truth; not if he really cares for you. Christian unity has to be based on Truth. The New Catholic Bible (NCB) is used for scripture verses.

The first was about the Catholic practice of infant baptism, the next was about the Catholic priesthood, the 3^rd was about the saints, and the 4th was about praying to Mary.

The virgin birth was a miracle that stands alone in world history. We accept it as a matter of faith. But did Mary remain a virgin?

If she did, it would have been frustrating for her husband Joseph, and a lot to ask of him, since the angel Gabriel told him to go ahead and take Mary for his wife, but with no suggestion that he was not to love her a man loves his wife. For a married couple to abstain from normal sexual relations permanently would go against scriptural principles. Remember, God has said that it is not good for man to be alone, and he said to be fruitful and multiply.

But there’s more – in Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, there is a passage about marriage:

“² However, to avoid the temptation to immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. ³ A husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise a wife should fulfill her conjugal obligations to her husband. ⁴ For a wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, a husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. ⁵ Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by mutual consent for a specified time so as to devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you by taking advantage of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 New Catholic Bible (NCB)

Incidentally, this same scripture is a reason that the Catholic Church has been in error by forbidding priests to marry, and it has led to disastrous consequences, ruining the lives of many boys who were sexually abused by priests, and it’s been a terrible black eye for the church. The sex drive is strong and as Paul also said in verse 9, “It is better to marry than to burn.”

To get back to the subject of Mary and Joseph, the plain reading of scripture says very clearly that Jesus had brothers and sisters. But before we look at those verses, consider this statement in Matthew 1:25:

“but he engaged in no marital relations with her UNTIL she gave birth to a son, whom he named Jesus.” New Catholic Bible (NCB), emphasis mine

The word “until” implies that after she gave birth to Jesus, they did have marital relations. If they lived the rest of their lives without marital relations, it would have been worded differently - perhaps by saying “he never engaged in marital relations with his wife”.

Now let’s see what the bible says:

“⁴⁶ While he was still speaking to the crowds, his mother and his brethren appeared. They were standing outside, wishing to speak with him. [ ⁴⁷ Someone told him, “Behold, your mother and your brothers are standing outside. They want to speak with you.”].” Matthew 12:46-47, NCB

Mark 6:3 says essentially the same thing.

In Matthew 13:55, we are even given the names of Jesus’ 4 brothers:

“Is this not the carpenter’s son? Is not his mother called Mary? Are not James and Joseph and Simon and Judas his brethren?” NCB

Some Roman Catholic apologists claim that these “brothers” were actually Jesus’ cousins; some say his ‘brothers’ were just his fellow Jews. However, in each instance, the specific Greek word for “brother” is used. While the word can refer to other relatives, its normal and literal meaning is a physical brother. There was a different Greek word for “cousin,” and it was not used. Further, if they were Jesus’ cousins, why would they so often be described as being with Mary, Jesus’ mother? There is nothing in the context of His mother and brothers coming to see Him that even hints that they were anyone other than His literal, blood-related, half-brothers.

Luke also mentions Jesus’ brothers:

“Then his mother and his brethren arrived, looking for him, but they could not get near him because of the crowd.” Luke 8:19 NCB

John mentions Jesus’ brothers in John 2:12 and John 7:3, 5, and 10. I have a comment on John 7:5 -

“For not even his brethren believed in him.” NCB

The implication is that even his brothers, who grew up with him, didn’t believe that he was the son of God. This is not hard to understand, because until he was baptized by John when he was about 30, and the Holy Spirit descended on him, and he began his ministry, he had lived an outwardly normal life, learning the carpentry trade from Joseph, going to synagogue and the Jewish feasts with his family. This verse is clearly referring to his blood brothers (half brothers, since the Holy Spirit actually fathered him miraculously, whereas his brothers would have been fathered in the normal way by Joseph). It wouldn’t make sense to think “..not even his brethren believed..” is referring to all his Jewish ‘brethren’, because by this time many of them did believe – they were called disciples.

Acts 1:14 mentions Mary and his brothers also: “All of these were constantly engaged in prayer, together with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brethren.”

In 1 Corinthians 9:5, even though the apostles and Cephas (Peter) were certainly his Jewish brothers, a distinction is made and his personal family brothers are called the ‘brothers of the Lord’:

“ Do we not have the right to be accompanied by a believing wife like the other apostles, the brethren of the Lord, and Cephas? NCB

Finally, James is singled out from the other apostles, being called ‘the Lord’s brother’:

“However, I did not set eyes on any of the other apostles, except for James, the brother of the Lord.” Galatians 1:19 NCB

to my Catholic friends

We have something in common, at least I hope we do. We both believe that Jesus is the Son of God, that he was born of a virgin as fulfillment of prophecy, that he loves us so much that he came to give his life to save us, that he was crucified, dead in a tomb for 3 days, then rose from the dead, and was seen alive by the apostles and others, and then rose to heaven and now sits at the right hand of God waiting for the exact right time to come back and judge the world.

That’s a lot to have in common. My appeal to you is to come out from the Catholic Church and find a non-denominational church that tries their best to stick to the bible and follow it as the inspired word of God. The Catholic Church hierarchy has perverted the Christian faith by adding many man-made traditions that are actually contrary to God’s word. But I’m counting on you to have a sincere desire to follow Jesus in Spirit and Truth. The only way you can do that is to come out, and hopefully bring others out - leaving the false doctrines behind.

It’s a big decision - but it’s of eternal importance. I don’t believe you can continue to follow false teachers and anti-biblical doctrines and traditions and still end up in heaven. I want to see you at the marriage supper of the Lamb - will you be there?